Sunday Oct 5, 2025

I dealt with major indecision before my accident. Perhaps stemming from perfectionism.

If you don’t make a decision, you’re not committing to something that’s imperfect, right?

In a world where online dating feels like shopping— endless scrolling, endless options, and AI that feels perfect, we feel like there should be “Mr. or Ms. Perfect” out there for us. A soulmate that will make everything in our lives sunshine and rainbows.

But love requires us to accept people in our lives as they are, as well as ourselves, as flawed.

Perfect in the real world simply doesn’t exist.

But good for you? Yes. Good for you definitely exists.

Kelsey and I started dating after I graduated from college with a Bachelor’s of Fine Art and came home to Rapid City, South Dakota.

He was an engineering student.

My family had a student from Afghanistan living with us. But Hafiza is more like a sister than an exchange student. She was going to college at the engineering school, South Dakota School of Mines and Technology, and studying computer science.

After I graduated from college (majoring in oil painting) I felt like I was floating. I had no idea how to take the last four years of learning to make *art* and turn it into learning to make *money* with my art.

I did know I needed friends, though.

So one evening when Hafiza came home, she told me she was going bowling with a bunch of friends from school.

“Could I come?!” I asked enthusiastically.

“Definitely! A friend is picking me up at 7pm, I’m sure you could come with us.”

At 7 pm, a tall, attractive guy came and rang our doorbell. He was in baggy pants and a basketball jersey. Not my type, but still…cute.

As we rode down the hill in his small red car, I asked, “So what were you up to today?” Just like I had known him for much longer than 3 minutes. I felt instantly comfortable with him.

There’s a Buddhist thought that when you meet the person you are meant to be with, it won’t be fireworks. Instead, you will feel more peace.

Well… there was both, after a while.

Even though I was an artist, he seemed to respect that. Not all of the engineering students seemed to think it was as cool as he did.

But frankly, if Kelsey and I had met in high school, I think there would have been zero chance of us getting together — I was a goody-two-shoes, and well… he wasn’t.