Today is World Letter Writing Day.
When is the last time you wrote someone a letter?
On Tuesday I wrote a sympathy card that turned into a letter. Our cards happen to fit a folded up piece of computer paper perfectly inside, so I will often start in a card – then if it feels like I have too much to say, I’ll move onto a piece of computer paper. (I believe in making the barrier of entry as easy as possible for snail mail. If there is a part you get hung up on, how can you reduce that friction so the person you’re thinking about actually gets something in the mail?)
I didn’t realize I was going to have so much to say. But once I got started, the words just poured out of me. By the end of the letter I was in tears.
Although I do hope that it will mean alot to the recipients, it meant alot to *me* to be putting pen to paper. To reach for the words, and try to express what this person had meant in my life.
Maybe it’s the length of a letter vs. a card, but I always feel like they are a cathartic experience. Some letters that I’ve written define chapters of my life.
The Wisdom of Nüshu
The other day I accidentally deleted the “Beside a Sister” card off our website (fear not, it’s back again!)...but it actually turned out to be a good thing, because I ended up reading again about the language of Nüshu from which the quote originated.
Nüshu was invented by women in China hundreds (if not thousands) of years ago. It evolved because the women were oppressed. It was a way for them to communicate with each other and to lament. (I often think of writing as a modern super power – it was only in the 19th and 20th centuries that rates of literacy approached universality in early-industrialized countries – but how amazing is it that women were using a language they invented hundreds of years ago in China?)
[By the way, a great article about historical world literacy rates:
It feels like we are in an interesting time though: we have the *power* to write to each other, but fewer and fewer people are.
Maybe the telephone replaces writing to some degree. We have our families in our pockets now. In Grace and my family, our family text message thread is a way we have stayed in touch in the past couple of years – it’s super nice to be able to share photos and videos so easily with each other!
I think we lose something though. I think we are losing reflection time.
I hope that I pass on a love of letter writing to Ellie. For me, letters always helped me process better than journaling. I think it’s knowing that a loved one is going to read it; that if I am vulnerable and admit something, it doesn’t stay a secret with me. Someone sees it, and has the chance to love me despite my brokenness.
The other aspect of writing each other letters is leaving a bit of our heart in words, so the person can hold us and hear our thoughts long after we are gone.
What a powerful tool, one that transmits our thoughts and lives outside of time.
Letter writing is also an activity that feels outside of the busyness of the day. It’s not necessarily “productive” in the sense that it will make you money, or clean your house.
But I always feel more at peace when I am writing to someone. (And that includes these email/blog letters I write to you!)
My top tip for writing a letter? Just start. I actually love starting with our cards, because it feels like a diving board. I sometimes know I’m going to want to write someone a letter that ends up being contained in a card – but starting within the card somehow feels less intimidating. If it turns out that I actually *do* only have enough to say to fill a card, it’s easy to do. If it turns out I want to keep going, I’ll grab a sheet of paper.
I hope that me talking about letter writing has made you want to exercise your superpower. Treat yourself to a cup of tea and the chance to sit down and dote upon someone with your most valuable resource: your time and heart. The world will be a kinder place for it.
Have a beautiful World Letter Writing Day.
Are you a letter writer? When’s the last time you wrote a letter to someone and what was the occasion/what prompted it? Does it help you process too? Why do you take the time to write letters? I’d love to know! Tell us in the comments!
3 comments
Within the last two weeks I wrote a letter to a friend. She lives just three streets away yet we only see each other a handful(ish) times a year. To be fair…she works full time and has five Grandchildren now so her time is limited. Anyway. After a recent get together I had three pieces of mail to write to her. Her 40th Wedding Anniversary had come and gone and all four of her children and eight siblings barely acknowledged it. This merited a Card. I had a small friendship gift (I didn’t want to wait to include it at Christmastime…one of our handful get togethers), so that merited a card, also. Circling back to the lost Anniversary; I wrote about how my husband and I are okay with our Anniversary just being about Us…so we’re not disappointed when people close to us don’t really acknowledge it. It felt good to (belatedly) acknowledge her accomplishment and share how I’m fine with this being a quiet thing…anniversaries. (Funnily enough. I remember her Birthday but she doesn’t remember mine. I’m okay with this as I get this is how she operates…stuff falling off her radar at times. She’s always been a good friend 33 years. And. Counting.
I write a letter each month to a dear friend who lives in another state. We used to be “partners in crime” in our 20s, going to clubs and concerts in NYC and on Long Island multiple times a week. We worked together as well, and as days turned into months and then into years, we became sisters of the heart. Once she moved, when I was working my schedule made phone calls impractical with her schedule. Birthday and Christmas cards were sent, but communication otherwise slowed to a trickle. Social media allowed us to peak into each other’s lives on the surface, but nothing beats a good old-fashioned, hand-written letter for soul-sharing. Each month as I sit to write to her, it is both catharsis and meditation. And it brings her closer to me despite the miles.
I love your “just start” advice, Leah! A professor in college gave me the same advice when I asked for an extension on a paper. He knew I had attended every class and was just overwhelmed. It was one of the best pieces of advice I have ever received! We usually have a lot more to say than we realize.