Who soldiers on despite tough circumstances?

In the days after my accident, when I was lying in a hospital bed, unable to even go to the bathroom by myself, there was one phrase that encouraged me the most:

You’re a badass.

It’s when people — even strangers — wrote to me and said, “You have done hard things in the past, and now you’ve been asked to do even harder things. You’re a badass. I believe in you.”

Those words lifted me up more than anything else. 

Side note: I really hated people telling me they were so sorry for me. 😬 Calling attention to the things I had lost (my leg, my spinal cord) was personally not what I wanted to hear at that time. If I hadn’t gone through such a traumatic event when I was 29, I don’t know how I would have known this. My accident was the catalyst for me to create some greeting cards that the world really needed. :)

In the coming months, as I navigated the world in my wheelchair, I still remember strangers telling me, “You’re a badass!” It made me smile, and feel seen and not pitied.

That's why I designed this card: 

Grace and I were chatting about who we were going to send this card to.

She mentioned our CPA, who has been working with us on our taxes, as well as a single parent she knows.

I’m planning to write this one to our daycare lady — she’s having her third baby in just four days…and she was still watching Ellie and the other kids this whole past week. Talk about a badass!

Carolyn, who oversees fulfilling all of the Tiny and Snail orders, also comes to mind.

We realized that this is a card for anyone who has a high pain tolerance, who soldiers on despite whatever difficulties they might encounter.

So, if you have this card on hand with your My Firefly Kit, I hope you stop what you are doing and spend ten minutes thinking about that person. If you're feeling extra resistance, I hope you set yourself a timer, don’t overthink it, and seize this opportunity to let someone know they are awesome and they can do hard things because they are a badass. :D

Who are you affirming today? 🌿 I’d love to hear in the comments. Every response feels like a little light we get to share with each other. And if you’re still deciding who to send your card to, someone else’s answer might spark you to think of the perfect person.

P.S. This Badass Tiger card was brought “out from retirement” for the My Firefly Kit. Maybe that was stupid of us to not to print up some cards as singles. 🤦🏽‍♀️ But it IS currently available with the My Firefly Kit!

P.P.S. There are a few studies that have been done about what cancer patients want to hear. Most of them wanted to be listened to, to be met with compassion and not sympathy (pity), and but instead to be encouraged, and spoken to honestly, from the heart.

Positive affirmations were super helpful for me to surround myself with in my recovery -- Grace plastered my hospital walls with photos of me with family and friends. Cards and art I received with inspirational messages got hung up on the hospital wall too, and became a part of my memory that I could internally recall when doing hard things, like going into another surgery. 

So when there is a chance that things can get better, lean into encouragement. If someone has lost a loved one or something cannot be fixed, then sympathy (I'm sorry for your loss, I'm here for you) is more appropriate.

Of course, every person, situation, and relationship is different, so think about what that specific person would most want to hear from you.

Pertinent studies:

Darabos et al., 2022 — “Empathy without sympathy”: analysis of support-related preferences

Sinclair et al., 2016 — “Sympathy, empathy, and compassion: A grounded theory…”