Earlier this week, I brushed my teeth with cucumber melon seltzer water. (FYI I wouldn’t recommend it. 🤣)
Ever since we celebrated Everett’s first birthday on July 4, it’s been a comedy of errors around here — except I think the comedy part will come later, once everything is behind us.
Bobby’s car window was smashed the eve of Everett’s birthday. Then we encountered a big batch of flaws in our latest print run of cards that we’re still waiting to be rectified. It has put us weeks behind.
After that our refrigerator stopped working. The earliest service appointment was a week out. I spent half a day marching my pregnant body up and down our basement stairs to put everything into a downstairs fridge and deep freeze. Very thankful to have those, just wasn’t exactly the way I was anticipating to spend my time! In the meantime our fridge won’t be fixed for…another 2 weeks.
We’ve been having “swamp weather” lately, as a friend so aptly put it, and in the midst of this oppressive heat, the upstairs air conditioning completely stopped working. It was rapidly reaching 90 degrees up there. The earliest service appointment is in 2 weeks. 😑
On Monday (my husband’s only day off during the hectic golf season), Bobby ran to get an AC window unit at 8pm, all in the midst of working to extricate our fridge from a *very* cozy built-in situation that doesn’t lend itself to repairs.
When he came back to free the fridge, the water line ripped open and started gushing water. Panicked, he ran to the basement to shut off the water while I sprinted around, gathering towels and holding them to the water line like a tourniquet. Despite an hour of YouTube and trying to get the in-line shut off valve to work, we weren’t able to stop the water running to the fridge. So all our water was shut off until a plumber could come. (Thus the tooth brushing with seltzer water. We used to have some spare gallons of water set aside for various emergencies but had used them up as the city was replacing water lines earlier this summer. Amidst the whirlwind of everything, I’ve yet to buy more. So we were left with seltzer as our only viable option for tooth brushing…that flavor combined with toothpaste…disgusting, LOL.)
I spent the next morning making calls to plumbers and, thankfully, someone was able to come later that afternoon to get our water back up and running. Hallelujah!
Bobby works for the next 14 days without a day off. We’re also closing on a house next week?!!!??! (A huge thing to be thankful about; this home is literally a 5 minute walk from the driveway to the edge of the golf course where Bobby works and we really weren’t expecting to find something in this neighborhood for years…but the stars aligned. It is both SO good and rather stressful, all at the same time. :)
Thinking we should all call it quits and head to Hawaii for the next…6 months maybe??? A year??? Would a solid decade be too extreme?????
Seeing as that’s not a viable option, there are a few things I’ve been doing to stay as buoyant and sane as possible. Here’s a little list in case the hits keep on coming for you too, and you find yourself in need of some strategies!
6 ways to remain calm when things seem out of your control:
Focus on rest: Life’s bumps and bruises get amplified 1,000 times when I’m not feeling rested. The other day my body was screaming for a nap. Despite all the things on my plate, I knew that tucking into bed was the absolute best way to spend my time for 30 minutes. Bobby and I are also being more diligent about trying for earlier bedtimes. It’s tough with his work schedule – life doesn’t feel particularly “fun” when you work a 14 hour day and then only have time to see your baby for 5 minutes, eat, go to bed, and wake up to do it all over again. The lure of Netflix is strong to at least have some feeling of recreation in the day. But the other night, we literally stopped a show in the middle of a scene so that we could stay on track for a 9pm bedtime. Sleep is medicine and we’re trying our best to treat it as such.
Confine the chaos: Amidst the fridge fiasco, our kitchen and house was starting to get chaotic. I spent some time shuffling most of the mess into our laundry room and the top of our pantry that isn’t directly in my line of sight. Even if our lives feel messier than we’d like, my brain rests easier when my direct environment isn’t screaming “mess, mess, mess!” I know we all have different thresholds for this kind of thing. I’m very much a believer in the adage from Gretchen Rubin that “outer order leads to inner calm.” Works like a charm for me.
Eliminate a small annoyance: Ever since we moved into our house 4 years ago, we had our hand soap, kitchen soap, and scrubber to the left of the sink. The faucet itself veers to the right of the sink with a dish drying rack covering the left side. The way we had it set up meant that every time I went to wash my hands or scrub a dish, my hand criss-crossed over the drying dishes, I had to cradle the soap carefully in my palm etc etc. It got even more precarious when I tried to help Everett wash his hands at that sink. It’s one of those things that isn’t *that* annoying but when you do it dozens of times a day for 4 years…it adds up. A lightning bolt finally hit me that I could rearrange the sink area. What a novel concept! I swapped a couple things around and now our hand soap, dish soap, and scrubber are to the right of the sink and it’s easy peasy to access them. I also added some freshly cut Cosmos from our garden to add some visual height to the area and it all makes me breathe a little easier when I see it.
Bring back a good habit: For a while I was on a really good streak of reading a book while nursing Everett. But after I finished my last one, I didn’t have a new, exciting book waiting in the wings so my phone crept back in. This week I got onto my Libby app and downloaded a book for my Kindle. (Do you know about/have access to Libby through your library? Highly recommend!) I’m back to filling that time with something grounding and nourishing. It feels good.
Getting a zap of novelty: When life starts to get especially busy and draining, it’s so easy to get mired down – plus, who has the energy to do something new and out of your routine when you’re trying to keep all the plates spinning? Still, I know that research shows that our brains crave novelty. This can actually be a really rejuvenating balm when we’re careening towards burnout. So this week, Bobby and I carved out time for a date night. We ate at a sweet little neighborhood restaurant that we love (on the patio! Heaven!) and then popped next door to listen to some jazz. We’d eaten at the restaurant before but had never taken advantage of the jazz club…one of those things that was on an “adventure bucket list” but hasn’t happened until now. Just getting that little jolt of a new experience helped us feel alive with a little more possibility and zest than before.
Look for the light: I’m working to keep everything in perspective. (Look for the light is one of our best-selling cards and it’s a mantra that I turn to often.) I’m staying away from bombastic news rabbit holes and channeling my focus to the areas that are actually within my control. In spite of all the wild things that keep happening in our personal life and in the world, about a million and one things are going RIGHT (thank you for ALL the sweet congratulatory messages about our baby-to-be news from last week!). I told Bobby that we’re still living better than kings and queens compared to so many throughout human history and in the world right now. I’m trying to focus on that and the healthy, beautiful baby I just nursed in my arms. As I heard Kelly Corrigan say on a recent podcast episode, our greatest act of agency is where we place our attention. ✨
If these past few days, weeks, or months have left you spinning, I hope that you can perhaps implement some of these strategies into your own life. We can’t stop life from life-ing but we can decide how we respond.
Here’s to radical acts of self care and appreciating the small joys (like brushing your teeth with blessedly boring water, straight from the tap).
Rooting for you, rooting for us,
Xo Snail (and Tiny, too)
P.S. What do you do when things feel out of control? What helps calm you down? Let's make a list in the comments of strategies!
13 comments
Riding my bicycle helps me process my stress hormones. Working the New York Times crossword puzzle helps me focus. Reading a good book takes me out of my chaos for a bit. Sleeping well at night helps refresh me.
I need to journal to self-regulate when life gets a little chaotic. Sleep is so important to me it’s my #1 best friend. I try to find the light when im feeling down or frustrated. Your cards and blogs have such positive messages, thank you for sharing your light with the world !
So much wisdom and healthy perspective in difficult circumstances! These are great reminders and coping skills that we can apply to our own issues and annoyances whether they are big or just feel overwhelming. Your writing and art work are healing to me so thank you for sharing especially on top of all your other responsibilities and relationships. I’m going to dig through some of my beautiful T&S card stash and display these affirmations to help brighten my day and remind me of these truths❤️
Your list is very similar to mine. Sleep is my favorite ❤️ but sometimes I need to pay attention to my energy and eat something to keep myself even.
So sorry to hear about all that has gone wrong! I appreciate all the things you are doing to stay sane! Thanks for sharing! Reading is a balm for me too. And congrats on the baby news!!